forkynder evangeliet

Som uge vind ned, jeg vil bare kort nævne de bedste ting, jeg har set i de seneste syv dage: denne uges episode af Paris Hilton's My New BFF . Jeg ved, jeg skrev om det bare et par uger siden , men jeg ved også, at ingen bekymrer sig. Det har en lille følgende på TWoP , og ingen på ohnotheydidnt (Internet's dommer i cool, y/y?) synes at have tid til det. Og det dræber mig, fordi det er så. god. Tracie kaldte det " ANTM -god , "og jeg er tilbøjelig til at enes. Hvis du klikker på dette link, kan du se højdepunktet i serien indtil nu: argumentet om, at plastik-kirurgi hovedet Corrie gør at overtale Paris til at holde hende på showet (hun er op til fjernelse drøftelserne). It goes:

"I mean, Paris, I plead to you, that you more know so much than anybody else what it's like to have people see something of value and worth and hate you because you're beautiful and you didn't ask for it. I did not ask for this! It was given to me. I used to come home and cry in high school and say, 'Mom, I don't want to be pretty anymore.' And she'd be like, 'You stop it.' Heavy is the head the wears the crown. And, like, you were born into it. I was born the way I am, like...People call me 'Bikini Corrie' back home, because I have earned it! And it's not being cocky, I earned it."

Honestly, my favorite part in all of that is, "You stop it."

But that wasn't all that was amazing on this week's episode. It was full-throttle inanity and it was glorious. I assembled a reel of the best lines below. Since it's Viacom property, I'm sure it'll be pulled before you can even click on it, so if you're truly curious, here's a direct download link.

And since this shit reads so well, I'm transcribing the best of the best below:

"Like, when I grow up, I just wanna shake my ass on MTV."

"I love boys!"

"Are you getting a lay?"

"I have morals and values because I'm Clark Gable's granddaughter and he's the king of Hollywood."

"Hey guys, what are in the hell are you doing?"

"Now since all of you are sitting in the pool, I would ask the guys to get up, but their packages will be a little shriveled. So I'm gonna judge you in other ways."

"Please raise your right hand and repeat after me. I, Shelly, promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me Paris."

"It doesn't seem that you have much to explain, does it? Does that mean you're a good person, or a boring person?"

"Corrie was laughing the whole time, and I was like, why is she laughing? This is, like, serious. I'd be, like, crying."

"She sleeps with club owners. She runs around telling people she's Italian, and she's adopted."

Reflective exit interview: "I got to be a pet. I got to play with monkeys. I got to do a lot of fun stuff!"

Again: not that you care, but I'd be doing a disservice if I didn't share my love for this awesomeness. Really, this was all I could do to hold myself back from a full-scale recap.